Quick introduction here. A good number of strange occurrences have happened to me over the years, and they seemed to be becoming more frequent starting a few months ago. Some have been life changing, others just interesting, but all, I believe, are linked to the Universe trying to send me a message. What that message is, I'll only realize when the time is right, so for now all I can do is relay this experiences to you, and you can draw your own conclusions.
Since I don't feel like going back to the beginning where it all started, let's just begin this like a good Chris Nolan or Guy Ritchie flick; jump right in the middle of it all.
Being a waiter is not a glamorous job my any means. You work odd, long hours, put up with people's shit, and practically sell your dignity for a lousy 15% gratuity. But every once in a while, working in the service industry can be rewarding, whether it's meeting an extraordinary person, learning a life lesson, or nailing a $20 tip on a $30 bill. Last night, at the Busy Bee Cafe in downtown Raleigh, I came into work at 6pm. My shift started like every other shift before; kinda slow. Patrons trickled in steadily for the first hour, then all of a sudden...BAM! We got hit. I had four tables sit down at the exact same time. I've had it happen before, so I wasn't freaked out. I just rolled with the punches.
Talking to my tables, I learned that the majority of them were grabbing a quick bite to eat before the Chelsea Handler show at the Raleigh Amphitheatre. Honestly, at first I had no clue who that was. I asked one of my fellow Bees who it was and found out, "she's the lady with the talk show on E! or something like that." That kicked my memory. She wrote a book too, right? So now that I knew who she was, I tried to relate to my tables and wished them a fun time at the show. I still had no idea how influential or widely known this woman was. After that crowd left, the restaurant slowed to a crawl, and being the closer, when it slows down at night, it really dddrrraaaaagggggssssssss.
1:15am rolled around, and people were starting to clear out, then, once again, BAM! We got a sudden influx of well dressed hipsters, drunk blondes in summer dresses, and the occasional toned-down guido. A group of about eight people started heading upstairs to our mezzanine dining area, and my manager and one of the bartenders started making a big deal about their presence. The other waiters were gathered around the manager, and she looked a little stressed.
"Who's going to take this table?," she asked, "I don't care who it is, but someone has to take it. Like right now." I volunteered because I needed the money, plus some of the other servers were ready to get out of there because they had been there longer than I had that night. But I still wasn't sure why my manager was making a huge deal about this one table. My coworker friend leaned in and said, "You get to wait on Chelsea Handler."
"Um, cool?" Of course I had no idea if I should be excited or not, but I knew she was a celebrity so I should probably feel some kind of pride. So, I walked up the stairs and over to the table. I finally put a face to a name by recognizing her from the videos and photos somehow lodged in my subconscious. She ordered Belvedere on the rocks with a splash of club soda and a lime. I went around the table and got everyone elses order. No big deal, just doing my job. All of them were pretty low maintenance, with the exception of a couple that were completely hammered and just a tad unintentionally belligerent. On my trips back downstairs to grab more drinks, food, water, whatever, some people at the bar kept trying to persuade me to let them up there. I figured that Miss Handler and her friends wanted some privacy, so I came up with some bullshit excuse why they couldn't go up there. They kept trying though. Shot 'em down every time.
About halfway through Chelsea and her friends' stay, one of the party members came up to me and thanked me for letting them relax and chill. He said that they (Chelsea and her minions) are a little skiddish when it comes to going out to places where people recognize them. "No worries, man," I said. "Just doing my job. Hope you guys are having a good time." I had never really waited on a "celebrity" before, other than the Mayor of Raleigh, if you can count him as one. I understood that after putting on a show, some people just need time to themselves with their closest friends. I, myself, get kinda drained after I play a show and need a little break from people at least for an hour haha.
After their entrees came out, my initial pleasant impression of Chelsea and her posse started to decline. Speaking literally here, they took two bites of their food, paid their bill, and left. What the hell? The tip was fine. Not complaining about that. But the one guy in the kitchen slaved on all of their appetizers and their entrees, and they didn't even finish their food. The most any of Miss Handler's crew ate was half a cheeseburger. You should have seen all of the food they didn't eat. It was such a waste. It got me a little irate. That food could have been saved for someone who could have eaten all of it.
Even though it's been prevalent for sometime now, it still amazes me that there's such a large economical gap in the world right now. Big American celebrities can come into a restaurant and spend more than I make in a week on food, and then eat less than a third of it, while there are people in developing countries who would normally live off of that third of a portion. Talking about starvation here, people. You may say that this ol' soapbox is getting pretty old, but think about it. The big celebrity of the night at the restaurant took two bites of her chicken Caesar salad, paid the bill, and left with her entourage. I'm not going to keep ranting about this, but it just boggles my mind now that I've personally seen what having a lot of money can do to you as a person. It is a horrible attitude to have if you think, "I've got the money. I'll just order everything on the menu and eat what I want. Nobody else is going to need it."
Greed and gluttony are bad news. By the way, Chelsea Handler looks a lot better in her photos than in person. Cameras and make-up are God's gift to her.
