Music has been a huge part of my life. It may not have been around my entire 24 (almost) years of existence, but it has been a very influential part nonetheless. I wasn't raised in a musical household. I was never forced to learn a musical instrument. Every musical path I've chosen in life has been the result of me choosing it for myself.
My Mom played harmonica in college, and occasionally played piano maybe once a week in our house in Waynesboro, VA, but growing up in that home didn't really immerse me in an environment that acted as a catalyst to my search for musical knowledge. And when I would visit my Dad, he would play Zeppelin, Police, Genesis, DMB, Shawn Colvin, and Dire Straits on his stereo and ask me questions like, "What song is this?" or "Who plays this?" My Dad never played a musical instrument, so that atmosphere was more of a "Rock Appreciation 101" of the most basic variety. I learned who played what songs, and I enjoyed them, but again, it never really fueled my passion for wanting to learn to play.
But it may have been the combination of both worlds that led me to pursue a musical passion. I started learning to play music in 6th grade, but didn't really appreciate it until I was about 16. I started actually listening to the music, picking up on nuances, and really feeling the grooves. I guess that would mark the beginning of my enlightenment towards music. I got the feel for rock and jam bands from my friends, punk (true punk, not that emo-whiny shit) from my brother, classic rock from my Dad, '70s funk and dance from my Mom, and hip-hop from the omnipresent media.
College came, exposing me to new artists and even more appreciation of the artful endeavor. Tons of alternative, ska, smart rap, experimental, folk, screamo, and of course the over generalized "indie." And since I was a freshman, music has been constantly influencing me, even out here in the real world. I support those poor, starving, local artists whenever I can, I love going to see bands I've never seen or heard before, and I've got tons of friends here in the local music scene. And up until last week, I was a regular part of it myself.
If you're a friend of mine, or maybe just an acquaintance, you no doubt know that my band, The Long Drive, will be ending shortly. I won't go into the reasons why here (you can find that information here), but it nevertheless was a devastating blow to my person, ego, passion, lifestyle and career. I no lie almost burst into tears on my drive back from the practice where we came to terms with our fate as a band. However, a portion of me is...well...relieved.
Over the past few months, I have started to realize that maybe our band wasn't meant to be forever. I loved playing music, as did we all, and we loved writing and performing for our friends, but I started to question whether we belonged in this scene or not, and by "scene" I mean the Triangle. I love being different, but it may have been possible that we were so different, that bands never really looked to us to provide support. I mean, sure we would book a headlining gig, and have great bands play with us, and the show would go great, but I started to see a shift away from us by the local musicians. Not a personal thing, just maybe the way things were meant to be. Our sound didn't really fit with a particular local band, and it's good to have those so a similar sounding show can be put together. We played with really intense borderline screamo bands, heavy Christian rock groups, indie pop trios, folk musicians, powerful melodious artists, and everything in between but we never really found another band that was like us. We could be so powerful then be so light-hearted. We could bring the blues, then switch it around for a poppy dance number. I think we were just too different, and it's possible people maybe just grew tired of us. We played with some great acts, made amazing friends, but perhaps the success of our friends and the decline of The Long Drive is merely how the Universe has it planned for us.
I'm not done with music by any means. I play with my friend, Phil, when he needs a drummer for his folk act. I also still hang out with Marc and CJ and Kristin from The Long Drive. But maybe music will be a passion for me and nothing else. I've accepted it's time to focus on other things, i.e. my career, writing, looking to move beyond the realm of the Triangle to who-knows-where, but all of that is of course up in the air, as with everything else in life.
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